Mr. Martian: Checking, one, two!
This is Radio Free Mars, the proud and pirate station and loving it. I am yours truly, Mr. Martian - call me Marsh - broadcasting live from very eccentric orbit around the red planet in twelve languages, sweet and simultaneous. Just tune into the lingo of your persuasions while I do my usual thing - say what I want, do what I want and play the music I want. So fuck the frequency laws! And that, my friends, is Radio Free Mars!
Mr. Martian: No sponsors, no commercials and no guarantees, kids, these are the only rules. Let's kick things off today with this tune!-Track (1 track)
Mr. Martian: Ooh yeah. Sweet. Anybody out there recognize the name "Seatbelts"? They were a maximal band from like thirty years ago, in the twenty-fourties... The track you've been rocking to is from a remix album by some truly anachronistic lads and lasses who've been warping on some "Seatbelts". You'll be enjoying this fine and as yet unreleased album in its entirety today thanks to some favors I pulled in. This one's especially for all you independent contractors out there, and here it goes - the name of the album is: "Music For Freelance".-Track (1 track)
Mr. Martian: The thing about these "Seatbelts" is that we don't know much about them; not too many records for a band from that long ago. What we do know is that a woman named Yoko wrote all the tracks. Rumor has it that she was a former pro wrestler, a stellar babe, and even that she was just totally feline - not exactly the most reliable info. Well, whatever she was like, she wrote music that kicks rocks and this is one guy who'll air even a boho's tune if it moves the little martian!-Track (2 tracks)
Mr. Martian: Ok, we've got mail from a bunch of people today
as usual. First, a weather tip, just in from Boolie who claims to be in the
midst of a hot date with a lookalike of Judy from 'Big Shot'. He says there's
sandstorm in the mountains of Tarsis 3 today - better cancel that air cruise,
Follow that with reports of pirates on the loose once again. Choose not to be maimed and stay away-hey-hey from those dark alleys around Gate 3 to Venus. Gracias to Paul for the life-saving tips. Looks like his message got cut off midway. Oh well.
Next up - Mrs. Kellerman again. Thanks for the UFO spotting updates, but try remembering the exact location next time, OK?
Almost forgot - word is that the current megahit "Star Wars Minus18" is a little tired. A heartwarming love story between Jabba the Hut and Yoda. I won't be going to this one. Man I wish they'd unfreeze Lucas. That's it for the news today...whatever that means.
Mr. Martian: Now for some traffic updates. Gates 1 and 2 for Jupiter currently jammed; according to our trucker bud 'Love Machine', there's an hour-long wait at the tolls. Gate 5 for Earth is currently closed for renovations! Again? There are better things to do with tax money, Keepers!-Track (2 tracks)
Mr. Martian: Oops, sirens, you know what that means. Catch you all again somewhere, sometime; keep those requests coming. Good-bye, dos vedanya, sayonara, adios!SE: <Intereference noise grows louder as he wraps up, then tune out.>
Copyright ©1999-2007 Victor Company of Japan, Ltd.