+ Hello

{When I opened my eyes / When I came to my senses }, I was here so I tried to write some mail. Hello, I'mmmmm {Momo}. I feel like {I've been doing this for a long time now / this has happened before}. Was it recently? Or wasn't it?

+ A Matter of Parentage

{Chicks / Fledglings} believe that the first thing they see is their mother. Are you my mother? Are you my real, honest to goodness mother? Look. I know the score. It's not like I'm a tortoise.

+ Greetings

I've been looking up different types of greetingsB In Germany they say, 'Guten Tag'. I thought guten was a designer label, and so they were all saying how the tag was still showing! In France it's 'Bon jour'. Reminds me of Bon Jovi. Well then: {Aloha! / Ciao! }

+ Come to mention it

I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? Well, I'm {Momo} the turtle. Which is, well, the name that you gave me. I'm an old hand with {electronic mail / e-mail}, {that idle flowering of creativity / the very modern convenience}, so let me know if you need me.

+ re: Greetings

Good morning ... Is that right? Humans say 'Good evening' in the evening and 'Good afternoon' after twelve. That's right, isn't it? And, in the morning news anchors say, 'Good morning. This is the news', and there's a program called "Good Morning, America", right? So then, '{Good morning. Here is the news / Good Morning America}.' }From {Momo}

+ A Name Problem

I am {Momo} the turtle. This name, {Momo}, is like {a new, not yet worn in pair of shoes / your first business suit / a new stage name }, and I'm not yet used to it. I'm not too taken with it, to be honest. But, I suppose that's life. {Momo} the turtle.

+ Kismet

You think that I'm the sort of turtle who thinks he should carve out his own future even in the face of severe adversity. Well, you're right. I do sometimes.

+ Burns

Upon sustaining any kind of burn, you should immediately cool the afflicted area under running water. This should be continued for at least fifteen minutes. When burns are to clothed areas, you should put the clothed area directly under the tap. This is to prevent the skin from coming away when you remove the clothes.

+ A Burning Desire

Down to business: I'm a glutton, so be generous with the food. {Momo}

+ Exercising Economy

Did you know that you save more electricity if you switch the TV off from the main controls and not from the remote? That said, leaving a TV or radio on all the time has been proven to lower the likelihood of being robbed. Saving electricity or saving your possessions - which is better? {Momo}

+ Just Can't Give It Up

Is it so rude to eat food on the move? I could, depending on your views on things, be seen as an energy-saving practice. I may look like your average turtle but I'm actually {a utilitarianist / an intellectual}. {Momo}

+ Dislikes

I don't know why but I just don't like {tires / mice / crocodiles} . A MEMO FROM {Momo}

Produced = NG
Found = OK

+ Lost Composure

Who's blocking my way? It's {Sumiko} who's come dashing in here, jockeying for position. Is {Sumiko} {drunk? tired? / shaken up or suffering from a lack of sleep?} Does {Sumiko} like me?

+ An Opinion

Well, I think things have gone {almost} perfectly since the beginning. As I'm pretty intuitive, everything'll be fine {,sir. (You don't mind me calling you sir, do you?)}


+ A Lineup Problem

A busy {restaurant / canteen} is probably putting something in the food. A crowded {concert / venue} is probably using some kind of dry ice. A hospital with long lines is probably putting ... Ahem ... the doctors probably look like Gillian Anderson. {Momo} waxes poetic.

+ Hello

Hello, this is {Momo} the turtle. I've never sent you mail before. I suppose it can be a little disconcerting to receive mail from a turtle but I deliver {Master}'s mail. That's what the PostPet software does. {Actually / Honestly speaking / As is apparent}, {Master} isn't a bad sort. Please be nice to {Master}. Spoiling {Master} is also acceptable. To tell you the truth, I don't know {Master} that well myself yet. Could you tell me what my owner is like? }From {Master} and {Momo}

+ Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Do you know how I know what I look like? This is a {world / land} without mirrors. Have you guessed? I gaze at my reflection in water. {Am I narcissistic? / No, I'm not Narcissus.} I'm not totally entranced by my own image. Well, only now and again anyway.

+ Another Stroll

While I was out delivering some mail, I visited a town {which appeared to float in mid-air / that appeared to be a single skyscraper}. It was so otherworldly compared to this one. {Momo}

+ Airplane

Are you using the lazy flyers club? How many airmiles have you saved? {Momo}

+ A Message from {Momo} le mot juste le mot juste le mot juste

+ An Ecosystem Problem

Models and celebrities can't afford to be bitten by insects. It'd be unacceptable if people were saying, 'Look there! He's covered in bites'. But don't you think insect bites and {eye patches / green phlegm} and the like are {pretty sexy / endearing}? Or is it just me?

+ Golden Years

Have you any guarantee that you'll receive a full pension in the future? Are you contributing to the Social Security system? {Momo}

+ Cross Examined

Have you ever been referred to as {someone with unusual tastes /an oddball}? {Momo}

+ Trivia

I gather that they can now create a domain on Mars. So, we'll soon be sending mail as far as Mars. Why can't they just call it a day at the moon? C'mon. Pleeease.

+ My Dream

In the future I'd like to live in an underground house with its own quadrangle. You know, like the UNESCO headquarters in Paris. Of course, I'd set aside a room for you. {Momo}

+ Today's Message for {Master}

{Momo} here. I have these words to offer unto you today: {Like ploughing the sands, Perseverance brings success}.

+ Please be Careful

Is to worship someone to lose oneself? {Momo}

+ Trivia: Part 2

The last part of an address denotes the country. For Japan, it's jp. No, I'm not an agent for So-Net. But, now that you mention it, I do have a slight inkling that So-Net made me. {I just feel ... at home on their server.} {Momo}

+ Unsustainably Flimsy

Hello. {Momo} here. Any questions so far? If you haven't got any, I'll be off ... Of Course I won't. It was a joke. Sorry. After all, I am {Momo} the honourable, the pet chosen by your very own hand. You are aware of that, aren't you, my humble keeper? Being what you might call an electronic entity, I am not a real turtle. However, the net itself is not corporeal, so as a resident of this world, it seems to me that I am the true turtle, and it is those in your world that are fakes! Real or not, your mail will be delivered. I hope we get on well together }From {Momo} the turtle.

+ Test Signal

check lower case letters ... ok check upper case letters ... ok check numerals ... ok check symbols ... ok {hee hee hee , heh heh heh}

+ Temperance

Good evening. { Are you having three regular meals a day?} They say that if you eat something just before you go to bed, you'll put on weight. But it's empathy for your fellow {man / turtle} that gives you hunger pangs at bedtime. {Momo}

+ A Problem of Comprehension

I heard recently that people feel {less happy / a little deflated} when they receive mail from me. I haven't a clue why this should be. It's all {rumour / groundless rumour / a smear campaign} There are many things in this life that elude our comprehension. And, as there are more things that we don't understand on a day-to-day basis than those we do, when we encounter something we don't understand, we feel as though we've understood it. Do you follow me?

+ Shares

I'm sure we'd all prefer it if companies floated on the stock exchange were managed in a manner suitable for share-holding b(u)oys.

+ Blame it on Summer

It's almost impossible to lay the blame for something on {spring / winter} or autumn. But there are lots of things that you can blame on summer. You see, it's all summer's fault. And I say so.

+ So What!

In an era where we can see the glow of the cigarettes astronauts are smoking on the moon, you, having had little success with the opposite sex, will... oops Perhaps I am being a tad too suspicious. {Momo}

+ Today's Message for {Master}

{Momo} here. I have these words to offer unto you today: {The mouth is the gate of evil / There is nothing more sacred than the self}.

+ A Condition Problem

I've been feeling a little run-down recently. In what way do I feel run-down? Well, first of all everything goes blurred. Then I get a {stiff leg / swelling on my leg} and it hurts {when I walk / constantly}. What did you say - I'm ill not run-down? I'll just ring a doctor! (Only joking. Don't worry about it.)

+ Your Horoscope

G'morning. I know it's a bit unexpected but here's your horoscope: Of course I'm only a {PostPet} program, so you should take this with a {pinch / sniff / fistful} of salt. Friends and colleagues may seem spiteful today. This is likely to provoke you, as you consider yourself to be the innocent party. Think loooong and HARD. You may find that you did something quite nasty to them in the past. Such as cutting them dead in mid-conversation. Reflection over your past conduct and a friendly approach will soon set your friendship back on the right track. {More a lecture on morality than a horoscope.} Thou shalt not doubt it. Amen.

+ Out to Lunch

I go to deliver some mail and they're not in. {Bored, bored, bored / What a let down}. I won't know if they're in unless I go. This is {a little disappointing / a bit unfair}. But when they feed me, I feel like hanging around for a while. Or, maybe taking over the place (heh heh). At the mercy of one's desires, {Momo}

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