>Communicator Entertainment Program

"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)": Episode 1

New York. Here in the city where dreams come true and desires rule, something is being bought, sold and thrown away, even as we speak.

But behind the scenes of business as usual, the nefarious "J.E. (Junker Expensive) Corporation" lines its already bloated coffers with profits from worthless products.

As J.E. swindles yet another innocent into purchasing high-priced junk, the FBI mobilizes a top-secret task force to put a stop to the menace.

Now, the city's best-kept secret spy is out there, briefed and ready to protect the people from "J.E.", the catalogue of conspiracy -- just call him "2.5 (Two-point-five)".

"Two, do you copy?"
"Roger. Thanks to 'Noi-Zap', the slap-on, be-gone answer to communicator static, I can hear the ice melting in your lunch."
"Good. What's the status?"
"Loosen up, 714. I'm tailing a J.E. exec's limo right now. It should lead me to their junk factory pretty soon. "
"All right. That's where the 'Bod Bed', the miracle product that promises to 'Pump you up like an action star in your sleep', is secretly produced."
"I know. The thing that has nothing but legs and a frame to support your head and heels, right? Whoever bought those almost deserves it."
"It's not like the people who bought them did anything wrong, Two."
"Did you buy one?"
"..."
"Jeez, 714. You bought one."
"It's not what you think. I only wanted the Mr. Huggy Bear body pillow that came free with the purchase. "
"Same thing. Learn to buy wisely. You're playing right into J.E.'s hands."
"Sorry, Two."
"Don't be. it's not my money. The installments should give you plenty of time to think."
"Christ, f-five years..."
"Mr. Huggy Bear didn't come cheap, did he? Oops, time to go. The limo just stopped."
"Watch yourself."

"Never fear. Even if they notice me, there's no way they can attack this car."
"What? Why not?"
"'Kid in Kar' sticker. I tacked one on the window before I left."
"... You're the goods, Two."
"Okay, they're entering the building. I'm going in too."
"Steady as she goes..."
"Damn!"
"Two! What's wrong?"

Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Not good. It's the 'Papa Don't Approach Sensor'. Looks like I underestimated their security measures!"
"Get out of there, Two!"
"Too late! I'm going in!"
"Two!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 2

2.5, the IdeaSpy, locates a junk factory run by J.E., the catalogue of conspiracies, but as he infiltrates the factory grounds, the shrill screams of the ' Papa Don't Approach Sensor' at the entrance pierce the night! Will Two-point-five triumph?!

"That was close."
"What?"
"...714, do you read?"
"You were okay, Two?"
"Yes, I made it safely into the factory grounds."
"But the 'Papa Don't Approach Sensor'...?"
"Oh, shut up! You know, if you didn't dwell so much on little things, you would never have been suckered into buying J.E. junk with the Mr. Huggy Bear pillow ploy!"
"Oh really! So are you saying you've never had a bad shopping experience with catalogues, Two?"
"Never."
"Liar! What about those 'Hot Hop' shoes you bought last winter?"
"Still using them. Thanks to these, I can walk around outside without getting chilly feet."
"You're lying!"
"It's true, 714. I'm wearing them right now."
"That's a ripoff product that heats up only when you keep them plugged into a wall outlet! How the hell can you 'Take a Hot Hop outside and keep your toes snuggly' in that piece of junk!"
"...I was raised by penguins in the South Pole. During blizzards, we'd all pack close together and wait it out. It was damned cold... But thanks to those early days, my body can tolerate any kind of cold weather. Even if 'Hot Hop' isn't plugged in, I can wear them as normal shoes and that's enough to get through the winter in."
"So why didn't you just buy regular shoes to begin with?!"
"Shut up! Stop prying into other people's past!"
"Who's there!?"
"Huh!"
"Two? Did you say something?"
"It's not me. There's somebody else!"
"Who is this!?"
"... a woman?"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 3

{In the previous episode...} Against all odds, Two-point-five succeeds in infiltrating the junk factory run by J.E., the catalogue of conspiracies.

But a shadowy figure of a woman emerges in front of him! Will Two-point-five triumph?!

"...Is it the enemy, Two?"
"I don't know. She's coming this way."
Click of approaching shoes.
"It's Two-point-five, isn't it?"
"How... Who're --"
"Don't you remember? We were at IdeaSpy Academy together. It's me, Call Now."
"Call? Jeez, how many years has it been?"
"Don't you touch me! I haven't forgiven you yet!"
"You're still mad? About me buying a ton of infomercial products with your credit card?"
"And sending me the ton of stuff that didn't work out to my house."
"Well, I thought you'd be glad to..."
"Oh, who do you think you're fooling! What kind of an idiot would be glad to have a 'Even-an-Elephant Storage Box'? All it is is that it's bigger than an elephant!"
"Gosh, sounds like you were pretty out of control, Two?"
"I was young..."
"I faked being an employee of this factory. I've been waiting all this time for you just so I can get even with you!."
"So you must know your way around here, Call."
"What if I am? You're not getting any help from me."
"I love you, Call. Always have."
"...What?"
"Help me out here."
"...No way."
"Nice and easy, Two, you've almost got her!"

Machine gun noise.

"AAAH!"
"WOW!"
"What is it, Two?"
"Machine gun! We're under attack!"
"It's the armed guards!"

Machine gun fire.

"Our health isn't going to get any better sticking around here. Call, let's call it a truce. Show me the way into the factory, please!"
"The hell I will!"

Machine gun fire.

"We'll both get killed! Come on!"
"All right, all right! This way!"
"Okay, 714. We're going in."
"Watch yourself, Two. It's even more dangerous inside!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 4

{In the previous episode...} 2.5, the IdeaSpy finally succeeds in infiltrating the nefarious junk factory of J.E. Corporation with the help of Call Now, a woman from his past. But what awaits him inside the nest of conspiracies?! Keep sharp, Two-point-five!

"Over here, Two-point-five."
"I owe you one, Call."
"So why are you so interested in this factory?"
"Can't tell you. Classified information."
"All right, then I have something else to ask you. Why did you buy me that thing way back when?"
"What thing?"
"You don't remember? The 'ErotoRope --"
"I'll talk. Classified schmassified."
"What rope, Two?"
"Nothing."
"So, what's the dirt on this plant?"
"You know that J.E. execs have been showing up at this plant a lot recently."
"... Yes, come to think of it, I've seen a lot of bad business suits around here."
"Why would the suits show up in the 'Bod Bed' factory? I think the 'Bod Bed' is nothing more than camouflage!"
"What?"
"There must be something important going on here."
"Ha-ha! Good thinking!"
"Who's there!?"
"Over here. Welcome to J.E.'s junk factory."
"You shouldn't talk about family that way."
"Sorry, but it's staff only from this point on. You'll have to deal with me now."

Schnick!

"God! Is that J.E.'s 'Interpersonal Itchy Skratch'?"
"You mean...!? That back scratcher designed to scratch other people's itch as well as your own!?"
"Yes. To think it was on the market already..."
"But if you need to scratch someone's back, why don't you just use your hands..."
"Ha-ha! Did you think this was a regular 'Interpersonal Itchy Scratcher'? Think again!"

Schni-Schnick!

"Oh God! The handle extended!"
"This is the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch' for long distance back scratching!"
"What!? Can it be the ultimate back scratcher to reach all itches!?"
"Why can't you just do it with your hands!"
"Silence! Take this!"
"Call!"

S-wish!

.......

"How could this happen? Why can't I scratch your backs!?"
"We're lying on our backs."
"What!?"
"Since we're both lying on our backs, not even the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch' can get to them."

"...You win. Go on..."
"Good job, Two-point-five!"
"Let's get going. Show me where the suits are hanging out."
"You got it!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 5

{In the previous episode...} 2.5, the IdeaSpy has infiltrated the junk factory to uncover the secrets of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation.

With Call Now as his guide, he heads for the secret hub of the factory! Hurry, Two-point-five!

"This is it. This is the room that the suits go into."
"Let's go."
"Be careful, Two."

Rattle.

"What is this place...?"
"Looks like a product development lab..."
"Look at all these plans... 'On the Road Food Processor', 'Rover's First Watch'..."
"And 'Blackout Camera', 'Morning After Hanger'... jeez. True heirs to J.E.'s tradition of junk."
"But Two, there's nothing new here that J.E. executives would get excited about..."
"That's true."
"Look, Two-point-five. 'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'."
"Really? Sounds pretty decent."
"Decent, my foot. Humanoid robot? How did they develop that kind of technology..."
"Don't believe that stuff. It's one of their products. It has to be a fake."
"Not necessarily, Two."
"What are you getting at, 714?"
"What if they were selling garbage products to people to raise research funds for that humanoid robot?"
"How can that..."
"And look at this, Two-point-five. D-People-E-O has no down payment and a monthly installment price of $9.75 for 36 months!"
"It's cheaper than Mr. Huggy Bear Body Pillow!"
"...$9.75 a month is just three cups of double mochas..."
"Two, what do you think?"
"Even if the humanoid robot is for real, it's too affordable for a J.E. deal. There's something behind this.
But what..."
"Two, can it be a weapon of destruction?"
"What...!?"
"It looks like that isn't just another junk product."
"No. And the fact that there are plans here means they could be making D-People-E-O somewhere on the premises. Or that they're already rolling off the assembly line..."
"Can you find out?"
"Affirmative. Let's go, Call."
"Wait a sec, I'm not one of you!"
"I love you, Call. Always have."
"...What?"

"Love conquers all, right?"
"Well, ah, that's not completely wrong, but..."
"Okay, let's go, Call!"
"Ah...all right."
"Um!?"
"What's going on?"
"It won't open.  he door won't open!"
"You mean -- we're trapped in here!?"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 6

{In the previous episode...} The junk factory of the J.E. Corporation, the catalogue of conspiracy, was the secret cradle of "D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'!

But Two-point-five and Call Now have been locked into the lab where they uncovered this terrible secret. Find a way out! Two-point-five!

"It's no good! No matter how hard I pull, the door won't open!"
"There better not be a punch line about a 'PUSH' sign on the door! Or that it's a sliding door...!"
"Shush!"
"...What?"
"Don't you hear something, like a motor starting up..."
"...huh?"

Grind, grind, grind... Blam! "AAH!"

Crunch, crunch, crunch...

"Damn, the walls are moving in! 714!"
"You all right, Two!? Unless you do something, you'll be as flat as a can after a quick date with 'Can-Do', that home recycling aid that flattens any can without taking up kitchen space!"
"You're right, as flat as heavy sweaters and down skiwear put in 'Vac-Pac' storage bags to 'free up closet space in summer and pop up in winter'!"
"Two-point-five! Stop gabbing and do something! The walls are getting closer!"
"Don't worry, Call. Look! I came prepared with a 'Beanstalk Bar' that 'adjusts to the size of any doorway for handy pullup exercises'!"
"Way to go, Two-point-five! "
"All right, I'm going to brace the walls with this!"

Grind! Crunch, crunch, crunch...

"Oh no, it's adjusting to the size of the room!"
"Okay, let's go with 'Later Alligator Door Stopper'..."
"As if! I don't want to be flattened in a place like this!"
"It could be a revolutionary form of diet."
"My proportions will be all wrong."

"Flattening will only accentuate those curves of yours, gorgeous."
"Oh, Two-point-five..."
"I love you, Call. Always have."

Crunch, crunch, crunch... slam!

"Come on, Two, do you copy! Don't tell me you actually got smushed by the walls!? Two, do you copy! Twoooo!!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 7

{In the previous episode...} After discovering the plans for 'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home' in the factory research lab of the J.E. Corporation, the catalogue of

conspiracy, Two-point-five and Call find themselves locked into the lab and faced with imminent extinction as the walls close in on them! Stay alive! Two-point-five!

"God, that was close." Thought I would die."
"Two! You're okay?"
"What? Oh, sorry 714. Looks like I fell asleep."
"What?"
"I dreamt I was being crushed to death by the walls and then I woke up. Looks like I was talking in my sleep too."
"It was a really bad nightmare."
"Look, I'm soaked in sweat."
"Yech."
"Hey wait a sec now. How could you both have dreamt the same thing!?"
"What -- oh, we fell asleep connected by a network cable. Okay, let's get going, Call."
"Right."
"Hey, HEY! I heard the walls crunching in and everything!!"
"Well, since it was a dream I don't see how I could be held responsible for what happened in there."
"It is just a dream, after all."
"That doesn't make any sense, Two!"
"God, you are so nit-picky! I ought to wash your arguing mouth out with the neighborhood's No. 1 brand 'Sudsy Kleen', 'sure to satisfy even the pickiest laundries and dirtiest white T-shirt, used in 46% of the country's three-star hotels'!!"
"Don't!"
"What's wrong, Call?"
"I'm sorry... I have bad associations with 'Sudsy Kleen'. It was a hot summer day..."
"What is this, a subplot?"
"I was already burnt to the crisp from going to the beach everyday, and my skin really started to feel tender.... I'd heard that 'Sudsy Kleen' could 'whiten and brighten any stain away', so I ran a bath and poured in a lot of 'Sudsy Kleen'..."
"... And you got into that tub."
"I did. To the chin."
"..."
"And when I ran it, I thought it would work better with really hot water so I got into a boiling hot bath and... burned myself all over!"
"What?"
"It was hot. So hot...! And of course, I was already raw from the sunburn, so I felt like I was on fire!! And ever since, whenever I hear 'Sudsy Kleen' it terrifies me... "
"... But doesn't 'Sudsy Kleen' not have anything to do with -- "
"I know, I understand how you could feel that way. I should have realized how hot it was before I soaked myself to the chin, right?"
"Well, that's true too but 'Sudsy Kleen' ..."
"It's okay now! I feel so much better just telling you about this. Maybe I just wanted someone to know about this... Come on, Two-point-five."
"You lost me completely but I agree that we should get out of here. After all, we've been in this lab for 3 episodes now. We're moving ahead, 714!"
"Oh God, the walls, the walls! Help me, Two!"
"Call, your story was too long. Now 714's stuck in the dream. Anyway, let's go!"
"Okay!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 8

{In the previous episode...} Our heroes Two-point-five and Call accidentally fall asleep in the factory research lab of the J.E. Corporation, the catalogue of conspiracy!

Where is the elusive 'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'? And has it already been completed? Stay on the scent! Two-point-five!

"There's a restricted elevator in the corner of the factory. Regular employees aren't allowed to use it, but it could lead to the production plant for D-People-E-O!"
"All right, Call. Let's get to that elevator."

Sound of running feet.

"That's it, Two-point-five! This elevator!"
"There's a button for the basement floor... We'll go that way."

Beep!

"What the --?"
"It says 'One passenger only'. We'll have to go one at a time!"
"What? Are you overweight or something?"
"Oh really! I'll go first, Two-point-five. You follow me on the next ride."
"All right. We'll meet downstairs."

Slam!

"... Two, is it all right to let her go by herself?"
"714, she's a graduate of IdeaSpy Academy too. She'll be okay."
"That's not what I meant. Isn't it possible that she could betray us?"
"What?"
"She said she had a grudge against you, right? It isn't such an unlikely idea."
"That's crazy. We used to look at catalogues together, for Heaven's sake."
"What's that supposed to prove? Anyway, don't be a sap, Two."

Ping!

"The elevator's back. I'm getting on."
"Watch yourself."

Slam Whoosh...

"...It's a pretty long descent."
"Two, listen. If your ears start to hurt, swallow. That'll help a little."
"(Gulp). You're right, my ears just cleared. I owe you one, 714."
"Don't worry about it."
"No, you're always helping me out with highly illuminating hints. You're more useful than any infomercial products."
"...That doesn't feel like a compliment."
"Don't be so humble."

Ping.

"I'm here... huge, mostly empty space."
"Is it a factory?"
"Looks like it could be a warehouse... But...? Where's Call!?"
"She's not there?"
"I don't see her!"
"So she is..."
"No way...!"

Sound of gunfire.

"WOW!"
"You all right!"
"I'm not hit. A machine gun...? Where are they firing from? I can't see it!"
"The buck stops here, Two-point-five!"

Sound of gunfire

"WOW!"
"Two? Twooooo!!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 9

{In the previous episode...} 2.5 has infiltrated the junk factory of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation, and finally reached the possible location of 'D-People-E-O, Fine

Humanoid Robot for the Home', only to find himself under machine gun fire from an unseen enemy! Can Call have betrayed him!? Hang in there, 2.5 (Two-point-five)!

"Ow... damn..."
"Two! Are you all right, Two!?"
"Uh-huh. Strange... I don't seem to have been hit anywhere."
"Ha-ha-ha! How do you like it, Two-point-five! It's the music of J.E. Corporation's 'Mini-Mole'!?"
"'Mini-Mole'?"
"The Mini-Mole digger, the 'professional grade, no-brainer answer to home rock excavation needs'!"

Sharp drilling sound.

"Couldn't you give it a less confusing sound? And anyway, what home excavation needs!?"
"Be quiet! Or else, take this!"

Bang! B-bang!

"Jeez!"
"You all right, Two!?"
"What is it this time!"
"'Studies show: pigeons hate the sound of balloons breaking! The pest-scaring 'Boom-Boom Balloon' breaks three times as easily and makes five times as much noise as conventional balloons. Recommended by Dr. Koppelthorn!'"
"What kind of a weak late-night sasparilla is that!?"
"And who the hell is Dr. Koppelthorn?"
"Besides, what do you base the claims about all that three and five-times stuff on!?"
"Speaking of which, do pigeons really... Damn it, there's too many holes to pick that I can't get to it all! Two, what are we going to do!?"
"I can't do anything unless I can see where he is... I got it! I'll just crumple up this piece of cellophane and..."

Crackle, crackle...

"What's going on, Two? Sounds like something burning."
"Ssh! If you crumple up cellophane and roll it between your palms, it sounds like fire burning. Now if only he hears this noise..."

Crackle, crackle...

"Oh no! Fire!? Damn you, Two-point-five! We'll continue this some other time! Go, go, go!"

Footsteps running away.

"(Sigh) Looks like they're gone."
"Good job, Two. ... But what's happened to Call Now?"
"You're right. Where did Call go!?"
"Oh, it's you, Two-point-five. That was fast. "
"Call? Where were you?"
"I was on the elevator and it made my ears really hurt. It was so bad I had to go and sit down for a bit. Sorry -- did I make you wait?"
"So that was why... Call, you swallow when that happens."
"Thank you, Two-point-five. "
"Two, I told you that."
"I know. Come on, let's get going."
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 10

{In the previous episode...} 2.5 has entered the factory basement of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation. Is this the location of 'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'!? And what is its deep dark purpose!? Keep going, 2.5 (Two-point-five)!

"Do you see it, Call?"
"Not over here, Two-point-five."
"Two, you can't find D-People-E-O yet?"
"Hm? What're you talking about?"
"You can't find D-People-E-O yet?"
"No, it's my contact lens. I lost it during that battle just now."
"Contact lens?? What about D-People-E-O?"
"What do you think you're saying? My contact lens comes first! Do you know how much I paid for that thing!?"
"But I thought your vision was 20-20..."
"Of course they are. Like many fashion-conscious urban professionals, I wear tinted lenses."
"Don't you go wearing that stuff on the job!"
"What? Are you saying that spies have no right to be stylish!?"
"I'm just saying that there's no need to pretty up for a mission!"

Roll, roll, roll...

"Oh? What's that sound?"
"Hm? Sounds like a caterpillar... Over there!"
"What is it? The enemy?"
"It's a tank! And the body is shining brightly!"
"It's dazzling!"
"Ha-ha-ha. Good for you, Two-point-five, to notice the gleam of my tank. See the power of 'Flash Wash', 'the car wax that takes off the stains and brings on the shine with a single coat'!"
"Why would you polish a tank!?"
"The product sounds decent but you're using it completely wrong!"
"That's not true! Don't you understand the desire to make your personal transport look nice!? Even tanks want to be pretty once in a while!"
"Wuss! A man who lives on the edge never gives a thought to being pretty!!"
"You hypocrite, what about yourself! For that, I'm going to crush your color contact lens to dust with this tank!"

Roll, roll, roll...

"Wait, don't come this way! I've still got 16 installments left to pay!"
"Know the bitterness of continuing to make payments after the product is gone, Two-point-five!! That was, yes, more than five years ago..."
"What's with this sudden tangent?"
"I dreamt of rocking to Burton Cummings and the Guess Who as I drove this tank and finally bought a $2975 car audio system... A real sweet mother with 10 speakers. But..."
"But what!?"
"Once I had it installed, the driving noise was too loud and I couldn't hear any music. So I cranked the amp volume to max. And at that moment --!"
"At that moment!?"
"With a deafening 'bang!', all 10 speakers exploded in flames! This burn on the forehead is a battle scar from that day!"
"You do NOT call that a battle scar!"
"Since that day, my car audio system never again rocked to Guess Who. All it left me was a profound silence and 78 more payments to go!! And I will teach you how that feels, Two-point-five!!"
"NOOOOO!!"

Roll, roll, roll

To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 11

{In the previous episode...} 2.5 infiltrates the factory basement of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation, but accidentally loses his color contact lens purchased on an unfinished installment plan.

Will the lens be decimated by a brilliantly waxed tank bearing down upon it!? What can be done!? 2.5 (Two-point-five)!

"This is the end, Two-point-five!"
"Don't you come this way!!"

Roll, roll, roll... Crunch.

"What the!?"

B-lam!!

"Aah! AAAHHH!!"
"Oh God! The floor's suddenly exploded and the tank is falling through! Two-point-five, what happened!?"
"It crushed the contact lens."
"Why would crushing the contact lens blow the floor out!"
"An ultra-compact fashion-tint contact lens-shaped explosive. The slightest shock sets it off."
"What?"
"Sorry I didn't say anything. It was all a part of my plan."
"No, I meant that you were walking around with a bomb stuck in your eye?"
"Yes. It was very stressful."
"I would imagine so."
"Two, I owe you an apology."
"Don't worry about it, 714."
"No, really. I really thought you were wearing that thing just to be pretty..."
"I don't mind."
"Look! Two-point-five! That hole the tank made!"
"What is it, Call."
"There's some kind of room under there!"
"She's right. There are cardboard boxes stacked in there. I'd say 5000 of them, maybe more!"
"What? Could they be..."
"'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'...? Is it possible that the production is complete and they're ready to ship?"
"Let's get down there in any case."
"All right. We'll use the 'String Silent One', 'President Lincoln's choice: super-powerful clothing line that set the industry buzzing'."
"Which industry is that?"
"So what does Lincoln have to do with it?"
"Shut up! If you're going to keep whining, I refuse to go down there!"
"All right! I won't so will you please get down there!"

Squeak, squeak, thud.

"Okay, we're down."
"Open the cardboard box."
"Roger...? It's empty!"
"This one too, Two-point-five!"
"What's going on... They're all empty!"
"What!?"
"You've come very far, Two-point-five! "
"Who's there!"
To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 12

{In the previous episode...} 2.5 discovers a cache of cardboard boxes in the factory basement of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation. But every single box proves to be empty! Where is 'D-People-E-O, Fine Humanoid Robot for the Home'!? And who is the mysterious stranger!? Stay cool, 2.5 (Two-point-five)!

"Two-point-five, you've kept me waiting too long!"
"Who is this!"
"K-mart shoppers may not have been paying attention, but you, Two-point-five, should remember that you tailed me here to the junk factory -- the CEO of 'Junker Expensive', Zero Payment-Down!"
"What!? Where is D-People-E-O!?"
"Unfortunately, production has not yet started. But the parts are stacked all around you."
"What? you mean that these boxes themselves are a part of D-People-E-O!?"
"Oh! Two-point-five, look! On the side of the box... "
"W-what is this!"
"There's a face drawn on it!!"
"Ha-ha-ha. Now you understand. In that case, I'll let you in on this too. It's the prototype D-People-E-O!"

"Thump, thump, thump...

Bonjour, hello, I am D-People-E-O."
"T-this can only be..."
"A person with a cardboard box over his head!!"
"But why would anyone sell something like this!?"
"Beep, bip, blip, beep. Hello, hello, is this J.E.?"
"It's saying something."
"Making a phone call?"
"I would like to place an order for 10 'Bod Beds'. Please ship them overnight express. Thank you, click."
"No!"
"Ha-ha! Surprised? Once a D-People-E-O is installed in a home, they order J.E. products by the dozens! Now we will no longer have to wait for orders to come in. Sale is truly assured!!"
"How exploitative can you be!?"
"More like, how can you expect something this stupid to work?"
"Say what you like! By placing a D-People-E-O in every home, the sale of the 'Bod Bed' will go from 1 to tens of thousands!"
"O-one? You only sold one?"
"714, looks like you're the only one in the whole wide world who fell for the Mr. Huggy Bear Body Pillow ploy and bought the 'Bod Bed'."
"Damn it, Two! Stop messing around and destroy that plant right now!"
"All right. This other ultra-compact fashion-tint contact lens-shaped explosive should take care of -- Zero Payment-Down and D-People-E-O!!"
"Don't!!"
"Nooo, dooon't!!!"

BANG!!! BLAAAAAAMMM.....

"Hurry, Call! The basement plant is collapsing!"
"What? But that's inconsistent! The impact is too different from when you used it on the tank!"
"I don't have time to explain! Just hurry!"

Sound of running footsteps.

"Okay, as long as we get out on that elevator...!"
"Wait, Two-point-five!"
"What is it!?"
"Don't you remember? Only one person can go up on this! And there's no time for two round trips!!"

BLAAAAAAMMM.....!!!

To be continued.

Communicator Entertainment Program
"IdeaSpy 2.5 (Two-point-five)"
Episode 13 (Finale)

{In the previous episode...} 2.5 finally uncovers the truth behind D-People-E-O in the factory basement of that catalogue of conspiracy, J.E. Corporation. Having destroyed the underground plant, he attempts to escape with Call Now, but the return elevator has a one-passenger capacity! What next, 2.5 (Two-point-five)!

"This is no time to hesitate Call, get on!"
"What? But Two-point-five, what about you!?"
"Hurry!" Slam! "Oh! Two-point-five!?"
"Call, be careful of too much shopping...!"

Blaammm...

"Oh... Two-point-five..."

BLLLLAAAMMM...

"The underground plant is going to explode...!"

BLLLASTT!!!
...Ping!

"I'm above ground... It's safe..."
"You all right, Call?"
"Wha --??"
"That was a close one. My foot got caught in the cable of that elevator cage you were in and it pulled me all the way up here."
"Two-point-five! How lucky can we get!?"
"Hey, watch it, I'm pretty sooty. You'll get it all over yourself if you keep doing that."

"Who cares! I don't care!"
"Wait a second, Two. If the elevator can't carry more than one, wouldn't it still be over the limit if there were another person hanging from the cable!?"
"714, I learned something important from this mission."
"No, answer my question!"
"The crime of defrauding ordinary people and selling them worthless junk at high price is of course inexcusable. But the people must also learn to distinguish junk from worth. Someday, they will learn to stand up and buy on their own without our help -- I choose to believe that."
"Don't you try to segue things into a satisfying conclusion with a likely speech!"
"I agree with you, Two-point-five. I have no idea where you got the impression that there was a moral in this whole thing, but you're right."
"So, Call, what now?"
"Well, Two-point-five. Why don't we start by going back to my place and looking at a catalogues together? Some new ones arrived yesterday."
"Sounds good. We can take some time and pick out furniture and stuff for our house."
"What...?"
"We'd better be careful, make sure we don't get stuck with junk."
"Oh, Two-point-five... "
"Let's go."
"Just wait a second, Two! This doesn't make sense! Two-point-five! IdeaSpy Two-point-five!!!"
THE END

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